


dig six feet up tonight

by xcetera



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Never Ever mv au, Park Jinyoung-Centric (GOT7), Time Travel, also college au but that's not super important, general warning for this being fairly dark I guess, kinda. it's ambiguous, like everyone is there but this is all about him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcetera/pseuds/xcetera
Summary: After the events of Never Ever, Jinyoung is the only one left. He’s alone. He’s guilty. He’s miserable. He can feel them, watching over him even now…And then he wakes up, and he’s back at the beginning, on the day that killed them all.
Relationships: Park Jinyoung (GOT7) & Everyone
Kudos: 6





	dig six feet up tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Never Ever is my second favorite GOT7 title track, bested only by Hard Carry. (Hard Carry was also part of the inspiration for this fic, since those two MVs kind of go together.)
> 
> The title here comes from Comeback by Redlight King, which isn’t exactly the vibe for this fic but gets surprisingly close, considering I only pulled it up when I was already in ao3 and realized I needed a title.

He sees Yugyeom today.

They take turns like they have a schedule, like they’re working in shifts. Yesterday it was Mark, and tomorrow, if the pattern holds true, it will be Bambam.

It has been two weeks since he woke up, not quite alone. His six ghosts haunt him, watching silently.

That’s the worst part. They don’t speak. Jinyoung doesn’t know if they can—doesn’t know if it’s crazy to wonder if they are really there or just in his head. They move; he’s watched them closely enough to know their chests move as if they’re still breathing.

He hasn’t mustered the courage to see if he can touch them yet. Part of him will break if he sees his hand pass through them, and he doesn’t have much left in him that isn’t broken.

“You almost made it,” Jinyoung tells the apparition. “You got out of the car. I don’t know how you did it. Bambam and I needed Mark’s help. You were strong enough—almost—” His voice breaks, and he blinks back hot tears. “Goddammit.” He squeezes his eyes shut.

It takes six minutes for the tears to stop. Jinyoung knows this because he counts, tracking the time that he spends sitting motionless as tears roll down his face.

When he opens his eyes, Yugyeom is still there, standing six feet away like he always is, watching.

~~~

Jinyoung went back to class after the first week. His parents and his advisor tell him it might be best if he withdraws from his classes for the semester, but he can’t think of anything worse than taking time off to do nothing. He’s already barely holding on. He can’t stop, even if he’s moving like a robot through his schedule.

His ghosts follow him to class. They stand by the walls of his classes, out of the way and invisible to everyone else. No one ever touches them.

He still doesn’t know if it’s insane to wonder if they are truly there.

Today, it’s Jackson. Jinyoung tries not to look at him.

Jinyoung saw him die. Jackson was the first, and the only one he saw clearly.

Jackson is hard to look at, and he isn’t the only one.

~~~

The dreams get worse.

Jinyoung didn’t think they could. At first, the dreams were memories. Jackson grinning and sticking his head out the car window. Bambam laughing from where he sat, wedged on top of Yugyeom to fit into the car.

Those dreams took Jinyoung through the whole thing again and again. The bridge, the crash, the water. Choking. Drowning.

Waking up.

Those dreams are bad enough.

But they get worse. They start to cover parts of the night that Jinyoung didn’t see. Mark, diving back down into the cold darkness. Yugyeom, swimming desperately for the surface, all on his own. Bambam, still breathing in the ambulance.

The worst part, though, the part that truly makes them nightmares, isn’t the visions that wake Jinyoung with tears already in his eyes.

(Isn’t there a limit to the number of tears one person can cry? Shouldn’t the reservoir run dry eventually?)

The worst part is that in every dream, he knows what is going to happen, and there is nothing he can do to stop it.

~~~

Jinyoung steps into his apartment and sees Jaebum sitting at the table, smiling softly, and he instantly knows that he’s dreaming. The boys smile as they haunt his nightmares, on the nights he sleeps at all, but never like this. When he sees them during the day, they never smile. They just watch, silent and still and maybe (probably) not there at all.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum says, and Jinyoung flinches. This dream is new, and he doesn’t know how to feel. Doesn’t know whether it will dissolve into the bridge and the bay in the next moment.

Jaebum’s smile drops. He stands and takes a careful step toward Jinyoung, who fights not to step back. He can’t escape his dreams, and part of him wants to see this Jaebum, who looks at Jinyoung like that night never happened.

“Oh, Jinyoungie.” Jaebum wraps him in a hug, and Jinyoung’s arms rise automatically, holding on tight. This dream isn’t like the others, and he doesn’t want it to stop.

“None of us blame you,” Jaebum murmurs, and the dam breaks. Jinyoung buries his face in Jaebum’s shoulder. “None of us blame you. I’m serious. It wasn’t your fault, Jinyoung. If anything, it’s mine—I was driving. I’m sorry we left you alone.”

“Don’t apologize,” Jinyoung says into Jaebum’s shirt. “Don’t.”

“Okay.”

They stand together, Jinyoung crying quietly against Jaebum. God, he misses them so much.

Jaebum holds him close, feeling warm and alive. Feeling the same as he had in life. Jinyoung holds tight, wishing that he could have this back, that this could be real.

“Jinyoungie,” Jaebum whispers. “I can’t stay long. I’m here to warn you, but I don’t get to tell you everything. We made a deal for you.”

Jinyoung frowns. A deal? That’s far too vague to be comforting.

“Just—don’t panic, okay? Try not to panic. And try to believe that it’s real.”

“Believe that what’s real?”

“Please, Jinyoung, promise me. Even if you don’t think it’s real, act like it is. Please.”

Jinyoung swallows. “I promise,” he whispers.

“Thank you.” Jaebum squeezes tight. “I have to go now. Remember, it’s real. And we don’t blame you. Goodbye, Jinyoungie.”

Jinyoung blinks back fresh tears and looks up, trying to memorize how Jaebum looks right now. “Goodbye.”

~~~

Jinyoung wakes up with tears on his face. Again.

He stares up at the ceiling for a long time, his mind replaying the dream. Not a nightmare.

A crash from outside his door startles him upright. He’s at the door before he even registers leaving his bed.

A voice cursing outside makes him freeze with his hand on the knob.

_Mark._

For a moment, Jinyoung can’t make himself move. He stares at his hand and cannot turn the handle.

His eyes sting. He can feel the sticky tear tracks on his cheeks, not yet dry.

He slowly turns the knob and opens the door a crack.

Mark is crumpled against the counter like he has just lost his balance, and as Jinyoung watches, he straightens up and limps the rest of the way to the fridge.

His roommate is in their apartment.

Mark is alive.

Jinyoung closes the door silently. He’s still dreaming. He has to be.

He looks around his room, suddenly registering that it looks different. It’s neat, with no clothes on his desk or papers scattered. He hasn’t had much energy for cleaning in the past weeks, and his room was messy when he went to bed.

His phone vibrates and lights up on the nightstand. Jinyoung crosses the room slowly and looks down at a text from Bambam.

_Hyung, hyung, tell me my outfit for tonight looks great!_

“What the fuck?” he whispers. His throat is dry, his voice cracked.

Then he notices the date.

His legs crumple beneath him, dropping him to the bed. His phone drops from suddenly limp fingers.

It’s Friday. He went home on Saturday, fell asleep and dreamed of Jaebum on Saturday, and now it’s Friday.

It’s _that_ Friday.

“What the fuck,” he croaks.

_“Try to believe that it’s real.”_ Jaebum’s words, in the dream that wasn’t like all the other dreams. _“Please, Jinyoung, promise me.”_

Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut. “Believe it’s real.” A laugh tears itself out of his throat. “Fuck.”

Believe that it’s real? Believe that he is really back here, on the day his world fell apart? That his friends are alive, that the car crash hasn’t happened yet, that he can change anything?

How can he believe that’s real?

God. He’d promised Jaebum he’d act like it was real. He still feels like he’s dreaming, more now than he did when he was talking to Jaebum, but he promised. He promised a dream, but he promised Jaebum, and he can’t just ignore that.

He can’t believe it’s real, but he doesn’t have to. He said he would act like it was real, even if he didn’t believe it.

And that means he has to pull himself together, at least a little, because he has to go outside and talk to Mark.

~~~

Jinyoung doesn’t know all the details. He can’t. Everyone who saw what happened is dead _(dead and still walking, haunting his steps, not dead anymore)._

He saw Jackson die on impact when they crashed through the railing. Jaebum slammed into the windshield when the car hit the water. Jinyoung hazily remembers Youngjae breaking the window and letting the water rush in.

The others he hadn’t seen, but he’d demanded answers until he was told what had happened to them. Mark pulled Jinyoung and Bambam from the car and dove down again for Youngjae He never came back up. Yugyeom made it to the surface and was rushed to the hospital, but he was pronounced dead on arrival. Bambam…Bambam had almost made it. They had tried to resuscitate him, but he’d died in the next room.

Jinyoung had woken up alone.

Almost alone, except for his ghosts.

Six deaths, from one event. One car accident that tore his world apart.

And now he’s here. Impossibly, all his ghosts are flesh and blood once more.

Just one event.

He can change one event. Surely he can. He can’t make sure that nothing else happens, but he can prevent the crash that killed them all.

In all his dreams, he hadn’t been able to change a thing. He had tried to scream, tried to warn them, but he couldn’t. All he could do was watch.

He has to keep them off the bridge. That’s the key. Jackson died as they hit the railing, Jaebum died as they hit the water, and drowning killed the rest of them. Jinyoung has to keep his friends off the bridge.

If they stay off the bridge, that’s a difference from that night. If he can keep Jaebum from driving, that’s another. If he can delay their departure, that’s another.

He has to believe he can change it, even if the unreality of it is still pressing in on him. For his promise, for Jaebum, for his friends, for the chance to avoid watching them die again, if only in his dreams.

He wants to believe this is real. If it isn’t, it will hurt so much worse than it did before, but it’s too late not to hope. Something in his stomach sits heavy, and something in his chest soars, unbearably light.

He has them back. _(Maybe.)_ He can do something this time. _(Please.)_

Saving them shouldn’t be so hard. And if Jinyoung has anything to say about it, he is never, ever letting them go again.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone put up a theory that really influenced my understanding of the story of the MV. Unfortunately, since the MV was released almost four years ago, I do not remember who it was, where I found it, or even the details of what was that person’s theory vs what I thought myself. Thanks to everyone who put up theories about Never Ever, I suppose.
> 
> The ghost rotation goes in the order they died: Jackson, Jaebum, Youngjae, Mark, Yugyeom, Bambam.
> 
> This was originally going to be longer and cover Jinyoung actually talking to them and dealing with his panic while also doing everything in his power to change the night. I kind of fell off GOT7 a while back, though. This has been sitting on my computer, mostly complete, for well over a year, so I just decided to polish it up in its current form and stick it online. I’m past the peak of my kpop phase, so this is all there is to this one.


End file.
